Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
