Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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