I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize