The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
