nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
