Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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