yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
