My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
His nipple licking is glorious
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