It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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