she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
