I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
