stop calling my apartment porn island.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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