when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize