"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
