So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize