i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize