just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
