it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
