Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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