five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
