he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
