I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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