you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
