just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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