i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
