I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
