Sry I called you an 8
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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