Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Come see our sink grown plant.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
