just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
