My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Randomize
