$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
