ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My bed smells like the plague
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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