How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
