Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
