You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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