He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
