My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
