I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
