Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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