Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
