you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
