***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
