Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I can't turn off my feet"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
