i can't believe i had my finger in that
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
