Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
