Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Randomize