why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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