hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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