I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
