I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
