Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
