You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
