cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
