im drinking this country out of the recession.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
