If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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