Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
